Give yourself grace.

Let’s be real…I do not have it all together! I’m guessing…neither do you.

Remind me again…Why is that a bad thing? Why is it that society tells us we should have the picture perfect everything by a certain age or point in life? I mean, who is “society” (and yes I am serious, yet sarcastic!) Who set the standard for what a perfect parent, employee, spouse, etc. is supposed to look like? ‘Cause I’d love to chat with them for just a moment and introduce them to a big dose of reality!! Magazines, movies, social media pages feature the ideal décor, family, daily routine and all of the perfectly posh hoopla we see and read…you guys do realize that what you see is not what you get.

Here’s the deal though…we (or at least I) tend to judge our progress based on those standards that we see. Sometimes, I even compare myself to others around me….you know those moms who are killin’ it with the crisp, clean kiddos in brand new, ironed outfits with not a hair out of place, hustling the full-time job, while keeping a perfect house, perfect body, full course dinner prepared and on the table promptly every night when the hubs gets home. She’s a business rock star by day and a super momma by night. Or…gentlemen this is for you…those men you see with the smokin’ hot honey on their hip who supposedly has had a litter of children but manages to be the trophy wife, along with all of the things mentioned before, while never getting upset, never growing frustrated with you, just a smile and a kiss and a giggle? Yeah, I’m laughing too just typing this.

Newsflash!!! Those people don’t exist! Those you see that appear to have it all together, all of the time…they don’t. When the camera stops flashing, the scene is over, or the garage door is down….they become the Griswold’s too! I’m not saying we don’t have our magical moments of camera worthy achievement, because everyone does. But real life is just that, REAL!

Go ahead and breathe a HUGE sigh of relief. All new parents are clueless. All seasoned parents are still learning. All kids back talk at some point. All houses have clutter (excuse me…those houses where people LIVE are cluttered.) I could keep this up all day, but I digress. The point is, everyone is a mess. And that, my friend is okay.

Growing up, my dad would always tell me there was more than one way to do math, and that I needed to find out the way that worked best for me. Mind you, this was being said to a young, quite head strong girl who had a clear mental block when it came to anything math related. But, as many parents are, he was right (yes I am admitting it, out loud and on the record.) There is no set way things need to be done. No concrete way to solve the problem. Find the way that works for you and make it work. Little did I know that he was teaching me a future life lesson while I sat there banging my head against the table and him probably visualizing himself banging my head into that same table due to my total hard-headedness.

There is no “way it’s supposed to be” or “how it’s supposed to happen.” This is not a contest or marathon to see who does the best or gets to perfection fastest. Life is filled with uncertainty, chaos and flat out crazy days! (If you disagree, come stay with us for five minutes or just turn on the news….you’ll run screaming for the asylum). Life can be a messed up math problem some days. Or everyday (haha!) It’s okay to admit that. New mommas and daddys…it’s okay, wipe those tears off your faces and know it is totally cool to call and ask for help because you’re clueless as what to do with that baby. Single mom’s and dad’s, it’s okay to admit that the flippin’ struggle is REAL out here makin’ life happen for the littles while trying to keep your sanity. Seasoned parents questioning where in the world you went wrong with your kids who are totally off course….don’t worry, so is every other parent out there! Single girls and guys searching for life and love, remember that NOBODY said you had to be married with kids and a rocking career by a certain age. Pace yourself. Do you. Get the cat or dog. Watch you some Netflix and chill.

Let’s wrap this up…there was only one person that ever walked the face of this earth that had it all together, and He didn’t judge everyone else because they didn’t have it all together, so why should we judge ourselves? My own daughter saw a sign in Hobby Lobby last week that said, “Welcome to our crazy, beautiful chaos” and said “hey momma that’s totally us! We should get that!” And you know what? She is totally right. Own up to your messy life. Give yourself grace. Stop running the race with others, and stop trying to achieve the fallacy that society has convinced you should be your life. Take it one day at a time. Give yourself grace. Place each day in the hands of the Father and trust that He has already equipped you with everything you need to tackle the crazy, beautiful mess you’re living. I’m betting that He can still take that broken heap of ashes you’re sitting in and make it into something pretty darn amazing.

May your cup runneth over.