It’s not who I was, but who I am in Him.

Lately, my mind and heart has been led to the story, life and ministry of Paul.

For so many reasons, I am both convicted and inspired by the things I know, read and study pertaining to Paul. His life is a picture of what it means to redefine, restore and to be redeemed.

If you are familiar with this man, you will remember that he was first known as Saul, a persecutor of the Christians. He was a man who openly and willingly was responsible for the death of so many. He condemned those who preached the judgement of God against the sin of mankind. He imprisoned and put to death those preaching and teaching Christ’s redemptive love and mercy.

In the book of Acts chapter 7, as Stephen stood firm proclaiming Christ and looking up to the heavens, the crowd stoned him to death and there amongst them stood Saul. Acts chapter 8 begins with, “And Saul was consenting unto his death…” When you continue reading at the beginning of this chapter, you will find that “he made havoc of the church, entering into every house, and haling men and women committed them to prison.” (vs. 3)

So in summary, due to some of the choices he made, Saul would not be considered a good person in the eyes of mankind.

Continuing on to Acts chapter 9, you see the conversion of Saul on the road to Damascus. The Lord literally took Saul to his knees and His glory blinded Saul. The irony in this to me is that in that moment, while Saul was literally blinded, his eyes were more opened than ever before. When the Lord speaks to Saul, his response is also ironic. Saul replies, “Who art thou Lord?” Saul was already a believer even though he had persecuted Christians for their belief. He acknowledged his belief in the one true, living God at that defining moment. 

It is no coincidence that Saul set out on that journey, nor do I believe that his life prior to conversion was just something that happened. In Acts 9:15-16, God is speaking to Ananias concerning Saul and telling him to go to meet him. Ananias looks only at the evil known of Saul and hesitates. The Lord says, “Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel: For I will show him how great things he must suffer for my name’s sake.”

Fast forwarding through the remainder of the New Testament, we read of the things Paul suffered for Christ. He found himself suffering the same persecution and punishment he once was guilty of administering. He was imprisoned. He was ridiculed. He was mocked. He was treated as less of a person all for pursuing the path that God laid before him.

Some looked at the man he had been and passed judgement. Some looked at the man he was and still scowled. What truly mattered was how the Lord God almighty viewed Paul. In God’s eyes, Paul was a vessel. God used the things in Paul’s past to help pave the way for his future. Paul was not defined by his sin, but was refined by his Savior.

What a wonderful example of God’s amazing grace, redeeming love and restoration. He took what was broken and made it beautiful.

Paul’s life did not become easy once he chose to live for Christ, but it was worth the fight. Through Paul’s ministry, souls were saved, churches were established and still now, thousands of years later, we are able to read of God’s glorious redemption and how He can take even the most evil of men, the chiefest of sinners and use his life for something great for the Lord’s name sake.

The Lord taught us so many lessons through the life of Paul, yet so often they fall on deaf ears. I, for one am thankful for these messages that we find in the scriptures because they fill me with hope that God can take anything and use it for good and for His purpose. It gives me the strength to withstand the scoffers and those who choose to judge with eyes of the flesh. I am able to look beyond their scorn and to remember that the work God is doing in me is much bigger than anything here on earth.

My prayer today is that we will consider Paul. Consider the man he was but not so that we can judge him as a sinner. Consider the man God made him to be and how God used Paul’s past as a platform for his future ministry.

I pray that if you sit in a broken state or situation, that you too will realize that God can take your story and can use it for good if you will surrender to Him. I pray that you will not allow your mistakes to define you, but that instead you will let the Master refine you into a new creation that shines for Him.

If you are not broken but instead stand in the position to establish an opinion about “the sinners around you,” my prayer for you is that you will consider what Paul teaches us in Galatians 6:1-5, “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself. But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For every man shall bear his own burden.”

We should be burdened for the lost and also for the saved that have fallen away from the will of God. Instead of considering their fault, we should help lead them back to the restoration God offers. We should pray for them and carry their burden. We should also consider our own sin and seek forgiveness for it before considering and sentencing others for their sins.

I choose to follow Paul’s lead. I choose to strive for glory and to totally surrender my sins, my past, my future and my hopes all to the One who is in control. I choose to lift up others who have fallen and to reassure them that they can find healing in the great Healer. I choose to be the vessel God has made me. God is bigger. God is greater. Without Him, I am nothing.  In Him, I am complete.

Today, I have freedom in the following: I am not defined by my sin, but I am refined by my Savior.

May your cup runneth over.