Just be a good human...

Sometimes people are just jerks.

Yep. I said it. You know it’s true.

Rude. Ugly hearted. Mean. Punks. Jerks.

As an adult, I have learned this overtime but can deal with it.

My 11 year old…not so much.

School has started, and the fact that she isn’t the biggest fan of school doesn’t necessarily help, but what has already transpired in just a couple of weeks is heartbreaking and infuriating.

Bad mom alert… I did point the finger at her first. This kiddo has the potential to catch a ‘tude and to express her aggravation with others in a not-so-nice way (or as my friend tells her…gives others that constipated look lol), but it normally is not done without being provoked.

So I first asked her what did she do that caused this response or behavior from her fellow peers. This time…she actually was not the reason the said incidents have occurred.

That being said, she has come home almost every day sad, upset and even devastated at one point over how her fellow middle schoolers are treating her, her friends and her classmates.

It doesn’t help that middle school is already awkward enough, but now you throw in kids being hateful , snobbish and cruel, that takes it to a whole new level.

First it was a group of boys taking supplies away from classmates while they’re trying to do their work, because you know, that’s just funny (she says with sarcasm and an eye roll).

Now it has progressed to your typical mean girl bullying.

I dislike that word. I feel that sometimes it is overused or incorrectly used so in real circumstances, it gets overlooked. BUT…this is straight up bullying.

Sitting here typing this…I am seriously livid. I’ve never cared for this type of behavior, but when it is being done to my kid and her friends, that “Mama Bear” mentality surfaces.

First, one of her best friends began gravitating toward this group of said “young ladies” so we encouraged her to be kind and to try and befriend these people so that maybe they could all be friends and she could be a positive influence.

For two days, she sat with this group at lunch and tried to get involved in the conversation, even asked these other girls questions to get to know them better. The entire time, she was literally ignored, laughed at and even talked about/made fun of as if she was not sitting there. She wasn’t the only one.

When talking about this experience, she said “Mama, they were talking about other people in the cafeteria and were being so mean. Some of them were right next to the table so I know they heard them. It was so sad.”

Yeah, made me mad too. (You know if you’re reading this your blood is starting to boil just like mine).

After that, we just told her to move tables and to unfortunately, leave her friend behind if that was going to be the behavior she was subjected to. Her older sister said, go find other friends. Those aren’t good ones. (Smart kid).

However, we all know this is not an easy task. Especially in middle school.

The child literally ended up eating lunch by herself one day.

Fast forward a week…the reports keep coming. Snarky comments in the hallway. Purposefully dropping a volleyball directly in front of her while rolling their eyes, rather than just handing it to her like everyone else is doing in line, making fun of her, talking down to her like she is not as important or valuable….yeah….it’s that bad.

Except now….it is spilling over onto others. One of the sweetest little humans is another friend of hers. My daughter said her friend was so excited to share some news about some things she was excelling at in school, but that one of her peers had taken that opportunity to “put her in her place” per say.

So an 11 year old girl who finds something she is good at is made to feel small and insignificant by another 11 year old, because you know, that’s cool too. (Again, my Mama Bear instinct is busting at the seams.)

I can tell her all day long to ignore these people, to choose kindness, to go find other friends, but it’s not that easy and we all know it. Plus, why should she have to??

Why do people have to be such jerks? This is not cool.

I mean, I dealt with it as a kid and teen, but for some reason we, as humans, excuse that behavior as kids being kids. (I vote we de-normalize being turds…little punks grow up to be big punks. Little mean girls grow up to be big mean girls…you get the point.)

Sad reality is that as an adult…it is no different. I personally have experienced this just in the past few years. Frankly, it still sucks now, but my skin happens to be thicker than when I was 16…or 11. Again, we shouldn’t even be having this conversation.

People are cruel, judgmental, attention-seeking, validation-hungry, alpha human craving, (fill-in-the-blank) jerks.

I digress…but surely, we all get the point.

But….grace.

I know I say this a lot, but it is true.

Even though I want my daughter to throat punch every single kid that has been this way to her and her peers, instead, I encourage her to choose grace.

Don’t get me wrong, I have told her quite boldly, to stand up for herself and others if she ever is put in a situation where that valiance is warranted. But I’ve also told her to read people, to be conscious of others and to know when it won’t make a difference. (She jokingly rolled her eyes and said “violence is not the answer” …because yes, we actually had this conversation about throat punching, and her sister chimed in with bringing in her upperclassmen friends and their drumsticks, batons, etc….don’t judge us or act perfect lol…you know you you’ve had the same convo with your kids lol).

But grace.

This may be the hardest lesson that I’ve had to learn.

Extending grace, forgiveness, kindness and understanding to those who obviously would not offer the same is such a difficult thing to do. BUT…isn’t that what our Heavenly Father does for us daily?

Yep…I just went there. Straight shot to the heart…but you all know it’s true.

We’re all jerks. We’re all hateful, judgmental…fill-in-the-blank humans. And yet, He extends us grace.

Now, I am not excusing our behavior or these little children’s. Quite the opposite.

What I hope is that we will each take an inventory of ourselves. What are we extending to others? How are we treating others? What are we teaching our children? How are we teaching them to treat others?

We’d all like to think we’re teaching them correctly, but sadly what we say and what we do does not always match up.

My hope for us all today is that we will reflect and take inventory of ourselves, our children, our lives. My prayer is that we will open our eyes to humanity and choose grace, kindness and love. This wasn’t me trying to rant as a mom…I promise…it wasn’t, but instead a plea to you to just be good humans.

The world needs more of that.

But, it starts with us in our hearts and in our homes.

The world we hope to see tomorrow is the one we are raising today